I don’t know who I am.
What is Co-dependency?
Co-dependency is a field of beliefs that are exterior validated rather inner validation. Outside is the validation that one seeks and do not find within. To be co dependent is a programming created since childhood self damaging to the one self.
Feelings and emotions like guilt and shame are the primordial status of people with co-dependency.
Whoever suffers from dependent personality seeks unconsciously for someone to be dependent of. Sometimes will seek a narcissistic person which only seek approve for themselves. Disregard the approval for others and make a perfect match because the dependent person does not care to any abuse that occurs to them, Actually dependent and co-dependent person do not believe in the self as well as self harm.
Self harm is also visible by beliefs that portraits the image of self unworthy, deprivation of self love and non existence of boundaries. Everybody can take care of them and abuse them, everybody can mess up with a dependent person because this one will attach easily to whatever outcome that gives what does not find with him, such as validation and worth above mentioned.
Now, narcissistic person is someone who nether loves themselves but works in another spectrum of non worthiness for self. They seek external validation but disregard any feelings regarding to the other person, unconsciously they just attend to satisfy their own needs and do whatever they can to achieve the needs that they do not seek inside.
The difference between a narcissistic and a co-dependent is that the narc know is needs and satisfy them from any source possible with any outcome. The dependent person does not know that has needs and seeks to satisfy them unconsciously outside. The common aspects about this categories of system belief is ether them seek the love inside.
I was born in an co-dependent family, worst of all they don’t know they are co-dependent. Dependent mother and narcissistic father raise me as a dependent person. Now I have realised my belief system are not up to best goals of soul, one of the reason I have created this site is to heal the co-dependency mind set I once had.
I now love myself but in the last experiences I have searched for self love on other people. It was unfair for me and for them. I work with my subconscious to heal my beliefs and reality changes at every moment.
One of the healthiest tools I have applied myself to deal with narcissistic is: I do not prove my point, very direct, few words and clear. I have been in no contact for a period of time.
What I do when in contact with a dependent person is to suggest beliefs that emphasize the own generation system of the self.
Think clear! Rik